Of Goo & Shoplifting.

Sometimes, it takes all that I have to leave the house with two kids.The prepping the purse to leave- diaper, wipes, sippy, band aids, snacks, cell phone, sani-wipes- check. In the car in the pouring rain-check. Knowing that we might be back home in less than an hour- likely. Off we go to buy some summer clothes. It must be done. Our adventures today must be documented because it never gets old and there is always an interesting story for Mark when he gets home. You can't make this stuff up.

Kmart. A hidden gem found 99% of the time empty and quiet. First Mckinley decides she is in love with a purse she finds. Patent leather, bright blue. This is  $5 I am not willing to part with to have yet another bag that we have to fill with crap before we leave the house. So we  move to the signature mother response, "we'll see" and my anxious four year old packs this bag through the whole store. I score a cute dress. Kingston starts wanting to get out of the cart so we move to checkout. As I go to put my planner back in my bag, there lies a strategically placed "shersheys" bar. We may have made it out without the purse but I just about got busted for my daughter's insatiable appetite for chocolate. We talked about stealing, talked about the police hauling mommy away and cried because the blue bag mysteriously wasn't in the cart when we left.

Michaels. On the prowl for some fabric paint and of course all variety of things crafty. We stroll through those dollar bins and there are some of those disgusting "stress" ball creatures that are filled with water, goo and who knows what else. Well, of course, Mc and K both have to have one. While K loses interest rather quickly, Mc is content to carry her's around the store. Whatever- occupied hands equals happy mom. We make it to isle 28, scanning the isles and hear a pop. wet goo. foam balls. The look of sheer terror on Mc's face. The nasty pink goo and remnants of foam balls stuck in her hair and on her shirt, the floor, the cart. Think Lennie style from Of Mice & Men. I really tried to keep my cool- "it was an accident", "it's ok, but we have to pay for it" but all the while, this child was terrified. The check out girl was going to ring me up for this nasty, now decroded ball but as it started to leak, she thought otherwise. Mc left the store covered in pink goo and sobbing.

A little stop to the Sweet Tooth Fairy where Mc picked the Hershey's cupcake and all was right with the world. Except, Kingston had a conniption because he only got a cake bite ("moy moy moy"- more more more).  And while a solo trip to Target is the best therapy in the world, having a cart full of kids 1) makes you spend less money because there is no room for those really cute couch pillows and 2) makes for an interesting afternoon full of old people cooing at your kids and toddlers who think that the store is as good as the aquarium.