Go. Fight. Win.

They always say your cousins are your first best friends. In that case, Ashlee has always been mine. Born just 3 months after me, I think we were inseparable since birth. She was always my fashion "go to"- I knew frogs, Jack Skellington, Geribauds, Bjork, perms and Cottonwood Mall were cool because of her. I always knew I had a friend and someone at every family party to pal around with.  She has always been beautiful. I still regret not being there for her wedding- deadline week at work and I didn't end up flying home. I missed her trend setting short wedding dress and didn't get to meet her Love for a few months.

I still remember the day she called to tell me SHE was pregnant...I was pregnant too (and had yet to tell anyone), our due dates just days apart,  and it was in that moment that we arrived at momhood together. She found out she was having twins so what was an October due date became August and Mckinley decided to be six days late. She is an amazing mom. I love that Sophs showed up to a play date in an Elsa gown. I love that her life revolves around what makes them happy. I love that she isn't afraid to lick Van's sucker that is soggy with toddler goo,  but he asks her to "taste".  Holidays, birthdays, her leprechaun...all of it perfect.

She has always been a sounding board. She has always been an anchor. She has always been someone that understands. She gets me.

The email came last week. As Audy puts it "it is still hard to say or write"- Ash has cancer. Stage 4. Colon. In my moment of sadness, I can't help but think about my sweet cousin, her sweet babies and how she must be feeling. The prognosis is scary. The treatment, inhumane. 32 years old and in the fight of her life. Fight. That's what she will do with hundreds by her side. That's what she does best. This chick can ride a bike 100 miles. This chick can carry twins and one more. This chick can tell you like it is. This chick isn't afraid of the unknown. This chick holds it all together. This chick has seen the world, married her best friend and will kick cancer's ass. That's just how it will be. We have too many more "Princess Pat" songs to sing and babies to raise- I love you, Ashlee Smoot!

iii of xii

U2 sums it up quite nicely.

"Baby slow down
The end is not as fun as the start
Please stay a child somewhere in your heart"

Mr Enzo is three months old! Man did that zip by! I was really worried this time about making it through the newborn/ recovery phase and it literally feels like it never happened. Lorenzo is such a happy/easy baby. He is on an excellent schedule- eating 4-5 ounces and sleeping from 8-4 at night. He loves his bath. Loves to carry on a conversation and definitely loves to be held. He has found his hands and feet and is so close to having the eye/hand coordination to grab. He loves to have the blanket next to his cheeks, his swing and watching brother and sissy play.

This kid is a chunk! Unfortunately, he is so short that size 3-6 months pants are too long and 0-3 month pants are too tight around the middle. We are making due with one piece outfits and sweatpants (perfectly acceptable for babies).  

We love to kiss his cheeks, pinch his little thighs and hold our lips to his fuzzy little head when he's over our shoulders.

Daddy stopped in for a little chat one morning. We are all smitten with this little boy.

Lorenzo's first movie was the Boxtrolls with brother, sister and cousin Brynlee.

Happy to see me after a 10 hour night of sleep.